Shtickless - Unless Being Dead Is A Shtick Topic

cbriese
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This is simply outstanding:

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight;

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working, loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be communicating much of that to you.

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

You can take it to the bank.

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously unknown and previously never experienced levels.

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who" we would want them to grow-up to become.

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

Just watch.

Sleep well, Cleveland.

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will be directed at one thing and one thing only:

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....



Dan Gilbert
Majority Owner
Cleveland Cavaliers
7/9/2010 5:57 AM
rlahann
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Seriously?
7/9/2010 6:43 AM
rlahann
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I can't believe that's real.  Absolutely outstanding.  Dude sounds drunk...and like he went without an editor.  That die:heaven thing is a really bizarre metaphor in that context.
7/9/2010 6:48 AM
cbriese
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It;s on the Cavs web site: http://www.nba.com/cavaliers/news/gilbert_letter_100708.html
7/9/2010 7:13 AM
cbriese
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I think that it's pretty obvious he went without an editor. I am guessing Stern makes him take it down before noon, and an apology is forthcoming. But you cannot unring the bell.
7/9/2010 7:15 AM
cbriese
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I can't wait to hear of "the events of the recent past"".
7/9/2010 7:17 AM
cbriese
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Posted by rlahann on 7/9/2010 6:48:00 AM (view original):
I can't believe that's real.  Absolutely outstanding.  Dude sounds drunk...and like he went without an editor.  That die:heaven thing is a really bizarre metaphor in that context.
Especially with the "chosen one" reference two sentences later.
7/9/2010 7:18 AM
cbriese
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I also like all the words in quotes. It did not come from the Cavs PR department.
7/9/2010 7:20 AM
r0b0t
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Posted by robusk on 7/8/2010 5:15:00 PM (view original):
Posted by r0b0t on 7/8/2010 12:41:00 PM (view original):
Nice. I got Brad Terrell in HR. I probably paid slightly more than I had to, but I think that'll make my team a lot better.

Jesus Ayala in $ kind of convinced me that a Gold Glove shortstop has a huge effect on a team. Terrell has won three of the last four years, is only 28, and has the top few spots in single-season +-play records.

I can put him in at shortstop, move Fitzgerald to 3B and have a top defense on that side of the field. I just traded for Caballero, who has great range, and I'll add him to the outfield mix and cover a ton of ground out there. I'm not quite sure how it'll pay off in the long run, but it should help. I'm interested to see how run prevention helps this team.

Yeah.  He is damn good.  He was my backup plan if I ended up trading Rincon.
I'm happy to have him. I'm hoping it works out.
7/9/2010 7:20 AM
rlahann
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He's also got Fregoe's sense of punctuation.
7/9/2010 7:21 AM
bret2775
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Posted by cbriese on 7/9/2010 7:20:00 AM (view original):
I also like all the words in quotes. It did not come from the Cavs PR department.
he had great "comma" placement as well
7/9/2010 7:21 AM
cbriese
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Posted by rlahann on 7/9/2010 7:21:00 AM (view original):
He's also got Fregoe's sense of punctuation.
You mean "sense" of punctuation.
7/9/2010 7:22 AM
rlahann
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Acutally I, Meant 'since' of punctuation.
7/9/2010 7:23 AM
cbriese
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It's Write "Like" Dan Gilbert Day!
7/9/2010 7:23 AM
bret2775
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I feel "kinda" bad about seeing Hootie go down moy, but let's face it, it's more likely the Cavaliers win a championship before you do.
7/9/2010 7:26 AM
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